I am a hypocrite. Not something I ever planned to begin a post with, but it is the truth. I have shared my health journey with friends, family, and strangers in the past few years with one message: to overcome fear and embrace change. I talk a big game, folks. My body had transformed so much in the last few years with all of the lifestyle changes I initiated while my mindset was left in the dust. The truth is, I had grown accustomed to the physical changes reflected in my body but was not ready for other changes that I desperately needed.
It is so easy to “get comfortable” in ANY facet of life: relationships, your job, your nutrition… the list is endless. I became comfortable with my new life that I spent years building. This new body, the food I was making, the training sessions I attended, you name it. Do I just trudge to the gym 4-6 days a week for a few hours and put in my time just to go home, go to work, and do it all over again? Is this it? I was exhausted just thinking about it. What’s worse, I began losing my passion for fitness. My trainer reached out to me several times to force me to recognize what was happening. I kept telling myself I was in a funk… that I would eventually pull out of it. Months passed, and it still didn’t happen. Is this what weight maintenance is like? I’ve spent my whole life chasing numbers on a scale, wanting to look more athletic, lift heavier weight. I had finally reached my lifelong goal and still I couldn’t help but think…
is this it?
I missed training sessions without a phone call, when I was at the gym I would trudge through my lifts without focus. I hadn’t felt “alive” during a workout in months. I was confused, scared, and just as lost as I was 120 pound ago. After a lot of consideration, advice from those close to me, and personal reflection, I finally recognized I needed to GET OUT of my comfort zone. I needed a change, but fear was standing in the way. It became clear to me that it was time to venture out and discover a new challenge. Something to get excited about, to learn, and help enhance on the foundation I had already built. I needed to find… a new frontier.
If you read my last blog post, you’ll recall that I went through some major changes in this last year. Deciding to make THIS change was just as profound for me. I was going to be ending a client-trainer relationship with someone who had held my hand and guided me through every tough workout, encouraged me through every plateau, inspired me to be better, ran next to me for 13 miles, and celebrated with me at every milestone I reached in the last three years. How do you say goodbye to that? I cried, fought with myself, and struggled with the decision for longer than I’m proud of. He was all I really knew! What if I gain the weight back? What if I fail miserably on my own? What if I’m not happy anywhere else?
Let’s fast-forward through the mushy, sad stuff, shall we? Good.
–>Trainer was very supportive in this decision –>had nice conversation and he wished the best for me –> of course I can always come back if it doesn’t work out- DUH!
Phew. Okay. So that, friends, is the story behind my personal hypocrisy (this particular time, anyhow 😛 ).
I think it is in our nature to embrace the familiar but still crave a taste of something… different from time to time. Yes, a solid foundation is necessary, but cultivating a passion for growth and change is just as paramount…(note to self: apply this theory to your career, your relationships, AND your health, ya big dummy).
Now, my hopes for the future it’s that I’m satisfied, but never settled. I hope to always be wanting more, learning more, improving.
As for the new frontier? Well, that’s a post for another time.
