There are two types of people on social media: the over-sharers and their subscribers. No, really… you know what I’m talking about. People who lay it all on the line, show every detail of their day, their workout, food… and we make judgments about HOW MUCH they post… but still, we consume it! On the other hand, there is us “subscribing” folk: we read these posts, share them… and sometimes share our more important highlight reel within our own social network. We all have our reasons for being in our respective “camp” of the social media world. After reviewing my past blog and social media posts, I self-identify as a “subscriber”. While I do share some more “private” photos and pepper in vulnerable posts, they are at a time when I have overcome the struggle and have re-gained control… they are, therefore, a part of my “highlight reel”.
Why am I a “subscriber”?
I am afraid of failure. I’m afraid of disappointment and regret. For that reason, I tend to remain silent in the pursuit of goals. Four years ago, I began my weight loss journey; I shared my first couple of months with very few members of family. I had been morbidly obese my entire life: struggling with body image, with motivation, embarrassed when I was forced into anything athletic… I was ashamed and deeply unhappy with myself for most of my life. I never committed to weight loss plans because I was afraid of failing: what would my family think? My friends? What havoc would that reap on my self-esteem? Instead of jumping into the unknown, I stayed in my comfort zone.
After a “light bulb moment”, I took steps to gain ownership of my health and weight, I still remained silent. I wanted to be successful before I shared my goals or story. I continued to find motivational posts on Pinterest or Instagram and “work hard in silence, let your success be your noise” became my mantra. My first shared post came after I hit my first goal of losing 50 pounds. I wanted to be a weight loss success story… someone that a stranger would stumble upon and be motivated by. Finally, I was on my way. I shared so many milestones over the last four years- many of which you have read about in previous blog posts or seen on social media. I lost over 100 pounds, kept it off for two years, transformed my life completely…. and I still have regrets. I wish I had shared and captured more so I could look back and see progress as it was unfolding… even if I couldn’t visualize it at the time.
When I am struggling most to “stay the course” I seek out motivation through the “over-sharers”: men and women exposing their innermost demons for some support to stay on their chosen path. Why haven’t I shared the same? Because I work best in silence. Four years, a hundred pounds, and several fitness milestones later I am still afraid of sharing a goal and failing to deliver. Looking through my posts and shares of various points in my journey, there is a lot of positive. It did take an enormous amount of positive energy and influences to accomplish the goals I set forth for myself. But, like everyone else, I struggled through all of it. It seems that I only would share when I had another “light bulb” moment: beginning a new nutrition challenge, or when I had finally overcome a “slump” of poor eating, an injury, or __insert any other excuse or deterrent here__. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STRUGGLE TO GET THERE? The struggle is personal for me; it always has been. For that reason, I choose to keep it personal. I’m a huge believer in the “YOU” factor in self-transformation. You could have all of the right tools at your fingertips, without self-discipline and drive, the tools are useless. The journey is FOR you, because of you, and a result of you. Not your trainer, not the gym, not your meal plan… YOU.
Life isn’t all paleo pancakes and sugar-free bacon. No one is perfect…. I’m certainly not. Everyone has their own routine and manner of achieving goals. Maybe celebrating and sharing your “highlight reel” of successes fuels the fire or perhaps sharing the daily struggle holds you accountable to the grind… whichever your means of staying true to your personal goals, it is YOUR choice.
